“So, why are you both coming to premarital therapy?”
This is usually one of the first questions I ask clients when they come for premarital counseling. The answers usually fall along the lines of “our pastor, our parents, our friends, or even “we” thought it would be a good idea.” Regardless of why people come in for premarital counseling, I am always impressed by the couples that come. With that one action, they are saying that they are going to invest in their marriage in a powerful and important way before it’s even begun.
If I were to answer the question, here is what I might suggest. Premarital counseling is an amazing opportunity to step out of our day-to-day stresses, the added challenge of planning a wedding, organizing a reception, and all of the other chaos that goes along with getting married, and focus in on who we are as a couple.
In premarital counseling, you get the chance to have the conversations that you may have been too nervous to have had, and discuss questions you have not yet thought to ask. Things like, what happens for you when we fight? What was it like to grow up with one parent, two parents, or four siblings? What are you afraid of when you think of the future? Where do you see us five years down the road? Do you really want five kids?!?!
Above all, premarital counseling gives you the chance to deal with problems well before they begin to eat away at the love of your relationship. Problems like selfishness, secrecy, fear, shame, and pride can tears holes in a marriage. Those couples who are willing to step into a therapist’s office and take a chance on being vulnerable, even as things are fun and exciting, have a shot at the type of marriage we all dream to have.
So why should you consider premarital counseling? Because your relationship is worth it! The time and money spent on counseling now, can build a foundation that will carry you and your loved one through the toils and challenges of life and love in a unified and connected way.
Why should you consider premarital counseling? Because your marriage deserves it. That’s why!